College Stories. My Girlfriend Is Too Naive--- Free -

Even if that means losing five bucks to the penny tray once in a while.

And I smile, because she’s already figured out something that most of us spend decades learning: you can be smart and still choose softness.

I used to try to fix her. I’d grab her arm when she tried to give her spare change to the guy selling “university-branded” umbrellas out of a van. I’d whisper, “He’s not affiliated with the school, Em. That’s a felony.” She’d just smile and say, “Or maybe he’s an entrepreneur!” College Stories. My Girlfriend Is Too Naive--- Free

My girlfriend, Emily, is too naïve for college. And I mean that with every ounce of love and terror in my heart.

We met during syllabus week. She sat next to me in a 300-person Intro to Psych lecture and actually introduced herself with her full name and her hometown. Nobody does that. You sit down, you stare at your laptop, and you pray the person next to you doesn’t try to share your armrest. But Emily offered me a piece of spearmint gum and asked if I’d ever thought about how weird hands are. Even if that means losing five bucks to

That’s the trick. Naïveté isn’t a lack of intelligence. It’s a refusal to let the world harden you. Emily has a 3.9 GPA. She can recite Supreme Court cases from memory. She taught herself Python over winter break because she was “bored.” But she still believes that if you just explain your feelings clearly enough, the campus parking authority will forgive your ticket.

I was hooked immediately.

Last month, I had a breakdown. I came back from a brutal organic chemistry exam, convinced I had failed and ruined my pre-med track. I flopped onto her dorm bed and announced that my life was over.

Last week, she almost signed a lease for a basement apartment that had a “cozy water feature.” The landlord called it “passive humidity.” Emily thought it sounded “medieval and romantic.” I had to explain that the carpet was squishing. She looked at me with those big, earnest eyes and said, “Maybe it’s a hot spring?” I’d grab her arm when she tried to