Note: The "XXX" in the title suggests an adult, raunchy comedy version of The Flintstones, so this story is written in that over-the-top, parody style—full of stone-age double entendres, ridiculous situations, and adult humor.
Everyone froze. The music stopped. Señorita Piedra stepped off Bambam's lap.
A cheer erupted. On a makeshift throne made of a broken cart wheel sat Bambam. But this wasn't the little bald baby in a leopard onesie. This Bambam was a mountain of a man—a champion of the Bedrock Bodybuilding League, with biceps like granite boulders and a beard that could scratch a record. His bachelor party was legend before it even started. LOS PICAPIEDRA XXX - Despedida de soltero de Bambam
"Maribel isn't here!" Pablo Mármol chimed in, adjusting his fake leopard-print speedo. "What happens in the Tar Pits, stays in the Tar Pits!"
The air in the VIP section of El Rudo Rino was thick with smoke from extinct volcanoes and the scent of overripe pterodactyl fruit. Pedro Picapiedra, wearing a tie made of snakeskin and a grin that screamed trouble, raised a stone mug. Note: The "XXX" in the title suggests an
As the credits rolled—over shots of Pablo crying in the corner, Betty selling the gelatin shots to a rowdy group of Neanderthals, and Señorita Piedra arm-wrestling Vilma for the last brontosaurus burger—a title card appeared:
Pedro’s face turned the color of a cooked lobster. "Wait, what?" Señorita Piedra stepped off Bambam's lap
But just as she was about to give Bambam a lap dance involving a vine and a whole lot of hope, the cave entrance exploded.
It was Vilma and Betty, but not as they had ever seen them. They wore feather boas made from flamingo fossils and heels carved from obsidian. Vilma carried a whip made of brontosaurus tendon. Betty held a tray of wiggling green gelatin shots shaped like... well, like male anatomy.
Bambam burst out laughing. A deep, booming laugh that shook the stalactites. He picked up Maribel, kissed her, and said, "That's why I'm marrying you."
As the night reached a fever pitch, Pedro decided to introduce the Gran Finale . "For the man who can crush a boulder with his pinky... a boulder of a different kind!"