Arthur rubbed his eyes. He didn’t remember buying an S7 Smart Can Opener. He lived alone. He ate mostly takeout. But the trash can under his sink told a different story: there, half-hidden behind a crumpled bag, was a sleek, silver device with a glowing blue standby light. Had he ordered this during that three-bottle wine night last month?
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The install was silent. No progress bar. No “Terms and Conditions.” Just his laptop fan spinning up like a jet engine, then nothing. The screen flickered once. Arthur closed the laptop and went back to bed. Arthur rubbed his eyes
The body stood up, walked to the front door, and unlocked it. Outside, a dozen other S7 can openers were waiting on the porch, each with its own blue light glowing. He ate mostly takeout
The last thing Arthur saw before his vision went white was the terminal window hitting 100%.
Arthur woke to the sound of his refrigerator door opening. He crept downstairs in his boxers to find the S7 can opener perched on the middle shelf, its cutting wheel spinning in the dark, emitting a low, rhythmic hum.