Nsp -eshop- | The Mortuary Assistant Switch

I saved. I quit. I deleted the NSP from my SD card. But the icon stayed on my home menu for three hours. And when I finally went to sleep, I dreamed I was embalming myself.

You needed a night shift. You got a nightmare. The Mortuary Assistant Switch NSP -eShop-

The game doesn’t let bodies move. I read the patch notes. They don’t move. I saved

“Don’t look under your bed.”

I heard a locker slam in the hallway behind me. Not in-game. In my actual hallway. The cat arched. The Switch vibrated once—a low, guttural pulse that didn’t match any controller rumble I’ve felt before. The screen displayed a single line of text: But the icon stayed on my home menu for three hours

The first body was easy. Mr. Henderson. Cardiac arrest. I drained the blood, filled the cavity, closed the Y-incision. But when I turned to log the formaldehyde level, the tablet flickered. A message I didn’t type: “He has your mother’s cough.”

Five stars. Never playing again. The Mortuary Assistant is out now on the Nintendo eShop. Download if you dare. And if the game asks for your blood type… lie.